You should rephrase you limiting condition, my youngest is 21 years old, and they all heard this joke when younger.

I thought I had posted that I changed the limitations some. Please check it out. No pornography, no racism, use your common sense.

Joey and Katie are sitting in school.

Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question.

"Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

"Jesus Christ almighty! !" Exclaimed Katie.

"Correct." Says the teacher.

So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up "Who created Heaven and Earth?" Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims.

"Correct again." Says the teacher.

So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"

Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil again, and screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I am going to crack it in half!"

Once upon a time, a cowboy was riding across the lonely range. Suddenly, his horse reared up, nearly throwing him. The cowboy brought his frightened horse to a shuddering halt and then looked down where he saw a huge snake lying across his path. Quickly, the cowboy pulled out his gun to shoot it, but as he leveled his weapon, the snake suddenly rose on its tail and faced him.

"No, no!" The snake pleaded. "Please don't shoot me. I'm a magic snake and if you will spare my life, I will give you whatever you wish."

The cowboy thought it over and then said, "All right. I'll try it. I wish my pockets to be full of gold and never empty of it."

"Done," cried the snake. "And, thank you for sparing my life."

After which, the cowboy rode on into town and treated everyone he saw to a drink at the saloon. Late into the night - and after many drinks - an old acquaintance couldn't stand this sudden new fortune and began prying the secret out of the cowboy. "How did you get all this gold?" He asked. The cowboy looked at him bleery-eyed and finally told him about the magic snake.

Now, the acquaintance couldn't stand all this good fortune going to his dear friend alone, so the very next morning, he hopped on his own horse and raced out onto the range. It took him nearly a week before he, too was startled by a huge snake lying on the trail. Quickly, he pulled out his weapon and warily took aim.

As in the tale, the snake reared up on its tail and turned to face him. "No, no! Please don't shoot me," the snake said. "I'm a magic snake and if you spare my life, I will give you any wish you want."

The acquaintance grinned from ear to ear. "All right," he said. "I want my pockets filled with gold and to never empty of it . . ." then, he thought about his friend with the same wish, and decided to go him one better, "plus," he said, "I want to be hung like my horse."

"Done," said the snake. "And, thankyou for sparing my life."

Well, the acquaintance fairly flew back to town and the saloon where he proudly stepped up to his cowboy friend. "I found that snake," he told the cowboy, "and I, too have all the gold I can use. Not only that . . ." He paused and paled. "God, no," he gasped. "I was riding Nelly!"

Good one.

Groaner time:


What do you call an Altmer on skooma?







A high elf.

High Elf?

Ugh, that is a groaner, Lefty.

I've got one:

Three guys go to a bar. The first guy orders a Bud Light. The second guy orders a Miller Lite. The third guy orders a water, which draws laughter from the first two guys. The third guy responds, "Since you guys decided to order water..."

hehe

Misnomer, that did get a chuckle out of me partly because if I do drink beer I want the regular stuff. Don't like lite.

Me neither, Nakia. As the saying goes, I drink lite beer when I want to sober up Or at least I say that...

Hmm..clean joke, clean joke...

The Olsen twins walk into a bar...no, wait, that's not clean