Just post a joke, keep non-pornographic, non-racist, and hopefully funny. Just use your common sense.

On exercising:
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Some Computer Acronyms

IBM
I Blame Microsoft

DEC
Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM
Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2
Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW
World Wide Wait

A man goes to an antiques dealer with a painting and a violin and asks the dealer if they're worth anything. The dealer says 'What you have here is a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt.'
'My God' the guy replies 'They must be worth millions!'
'I'm afraid not' says the dealer 'Rembrandt made the violin and Stradivarius painted the picture.'

Hmm. I'd add the "Magic Snake" joke, but I think it gets a little dirty, so not appropriate. I keep trying to think of some that are, but no luck just yet. Guess I've been keeping company with the wrong kind of people.

I am having a similar problem. Why is it that the funniest jokes seem to be at least a little r
ieque? Maybe we should change the rules to "the joke may not be pornographic or racially insulting.".. I'll pass the buck to the administrators on that. Bosses are such handy things.

All my good ones are a little bit to medium dirty, Bah!
Time for 2nd string jokes

I went to the Army navy store to buy some camouflage clothes, but I could not find any.

That is cute, Lefty

Lost Balloonist
A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spots a man in a field down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet above this field."

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.

"I am. How did you know?"

"Everything you told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."

The man below says, "You must be in management."

"I am. But how did you know?"

"You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

Irishmen in an Aussie bar
A man walked into a Melbourne bar and ordered a pint of the dark liquid.

'Excuse me,' said the only other drinker. 'Is that an Irish accent I detect?'

'It is, sir. Dublin to be exact.'

'Bless my soul,' said the first. 'I'm a Dublin man meself. Ballymun to be precise.'

'Bedad, aren't I from Ballymun meself - Carberry Street in actual fact,' remarked the second.

'Carberry Street is where I was born and raised meself, and St Joseph's was me parish church, Father Dunne the parish priest.'

'Didn't I go to nine o'clock mass every Sunday at St Joseph's. What an amazingly small world. Did you go to St Joseph's School?'

'I did. I was in Miss Slattery's class.'

'God in heaven. So was I.'

Just then the phone rang and the Aussie barman said, 'Not too busy at the moment. In fact there's just the Murphy twins here.'


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(Hokay, it's better than nothing. )

Computer Joke
Dear Agony Aunt
Dear Editor,

I have two brothers, one works at Microsoft, the other was sentenced to death in the gas chamber.

My mother died of insanity when I was three years old, my two sisters are prostitutes and my father sells drugs.

Recently, I met a girl who was released from a reformatory where she served time for smothering her illegitimate child to death.

I love this girl very much and want to marry her.

My problem is this:

Shall I tell her about my brother who works at Microsoft?

Sincerely,
Larry


Hokay, it isn't that funnt but you find a funny clean joke.