Sorry to cause misinterpretation. But it's only "a new forum" syndrome and soon everything will be ok again.

And I agree with Misnomer. I'm not native speaker and the story has riveted my mind for a good while, Nowena

No problem, Lalwende. I knew what Misnomer intended to say. I was just teasing her about it.

I'm so glad you liked the story. I'm a little proud of it myself, in case you can't tell by my previous posts, and it does feel good to know others enjoy it as well.

hehe u have my prais up and down nowena

i wrote the outline... and it still makes me get that warm feeling wen i read it

hehe

like i said, ccant wait for chornicle 2 and 3

biulding

Sure Nowena, if you want, I can see if I can help with the meter of your story. Usually when I edit, I try to change the original as little as possible. I have off on Wednesday, I'll give it a try then

Nowena:

I looked your story over again, and here is my 1st revision, with strictly grammatical and spelling errors. A note: when I spoke with biulding when I first started looking over the story, he said the family name is Blood-Fang, without an "e". So where you mention the son of Blood-Fang and Castle Blood-Fang, I removed the "e'. I tried to do as little as possible to your original story, just some capitalizations and commas. There are plenty of places where more could have been done, but I know you were trying to maintain an old oral story feel to it, so there are still some run-on sentences

I am working on a 2nd revision, where I am changing a few things to keep the Old English flow to it, but those, I feel, are my opinion, so I wanted to send you that separately. I should be finished the 2nd version by tonight

Misnomer

http://www.4shared.com/file/102515421/4c4a1783/1stdraft.html

Yes. I added the "e" to Blood-Fang on purpose, to give it a bit of a legendary feel - as written by a bard, and to distinguish it from the Island of Fang, as I would imagine a medieval bard would be prone to do. I have noticed little changes like that in many old English song-stories and thought it might add to the flavor.

However, I'm not so fond of it that I can't remove it if you and biulding think it would be confusing. (or leave it removed as you have done)

i like the e better tbh, but i really dont want to go back and change every refrence to blood-fang in every mod

biulding

I don't think it would be necessary, biulding. This was a bard's point of view. I was thinking the bard might spell it wrong on purpose, but I can remove the e if you think it would be confusing.

Misnomer, I am a little curious about the capitalizations. Why do you capitalize all descriptive titles? I understand things like: King Neoko, but why capitalize warden and battlemage and stuff? They aren't names, just title descriptions of what the people do.

Just curious. I'm not familiar with this use.

hehe go ahead and leave the e nowena i liked it

and i dont know bout the tiltle

biulding